It’s the Wrong Place

•February 14, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I’ve been blessed to have always been around some of the brightest, sharpest, over-achieving brains–most of whom work very hard to match their own ambitions in life. You’d think I’d benefit socially, professionally, personally from such a network. Yet most of these people fall nothing short of self-promoting jerks who hurt me more over time-in all those categories: social, career, familiar. And of course, it’s not their fault. I was placed with them by chance when I should’ve found my own way…

I have a fundamentally different disposition, way of learning about myself and the world then the competitive people around me. Fights are personal for me, my skin is not so thick, I learn by pressing buttons on a motherboard–the directions to which I never read. I daydream, I giggle, I try-n-toss things. I don’t stick around. I don’t climb, I change lanes,

I’m neither less nor wrong. I’ve just been in the wrong place my whole life. You wouldn’t sign for “Harvard”, if you just wanted to grow vegetables in your backyard, would you? ‘The sooner you accept who you are, the better it is’ they say.


Private Persons with Public Responsibilities

•September 23, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Every worker has a job description, but technically we should all accept some aspect of others’ responsibilities as well. To put it in other words, Everyone expects that only people who get paid to do ‘the work’ should do ‘the said work’ and no one else should have to change their behaviour or facilitate some aspect of another w/man’s job.

e.g. just because janitors get paid to clean the public toilets, shouldn’t mean you can sh&& all over the floor.Their job description might read “clean the surfaces” but ideally, they should be disinfecting, not scraping poo off tiles.

That’s kind of how I view the current UNHCR situation. Yes, analysts and field workers are paid to evaluate programs and help refugees, but asylum is an obvious public problem, with many stakeholders. So just because they have it in their job description to deal with refugee problems, shouldn’t relieve me of the responsibility to contribute thought, time, or physical effort to address the problem of refugees. To skip the support, and to further make racist/xenophobic statements or resent refugee presence is really to sh&& all over. The least one can do, is sit down and re-read the UN manifesto.

What We Can’t Do [To Stop War]

•August 9, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Someone posted the 5 things we CAN do to stop on Facebook:

1) Pray to God

2) Donate money to organizations

3) Contact your Congressmen

4) Sign Petitions

5) Raise Awareness 

Europe, in WW2, was completely destroyed before it was built back up again. The problem in Iraq, Syria, Gaza is there is no end to the incentives for war. War creates employment, sense of purpose, illusion of self-determination for youth with guns. What can we do to change that? We can raise awareness, open borders to those in need of asylum, be good hosts to students from war-torn regions to create an open dialogue and to empower them with confidence to deal with the problems at [their] home.

1) We can’t pray

Wars aren’t happening because no one is praying or no one is hearing those prayers. Call for prayer is an insult to human intellect

2) We can’t donate money

Until there’s security, international organizations cannot be on the ground to do work. Most organizations can receive money at any time, but distribution is the main problem. Hold on to your money, until you know where to donate

3) We can’t petition

Petitioning is preaching to the choir. No one in Iraq is taking petitions. Pressuring your congressmen to consider options of intervention may be more useful


Armies of Death March On, For Psychopaths also Deserve a Revolution

•August 7, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Was this evitable? It was certainly completely foreseeable… Anytime a central government structure breaks down, civil war ensues.

U.S. foreign policy is a lost cause. It relies on uplifting minorities, promising them a profitable slice of the pie that’s made up of precious resources: oil, natural gas, etc. U.S. foreign policy also brands this plan as “building democracy”. Democracy works best to lift the minority. But in most parts of the world, no one care as much about the minority as the Americans do at home. Democracy doesn’t help ruling the majority in a centralized government system.

So what went wrong in
Starting with the Iraq mess, continuing with aid to rebels in Syria, the U.S. helped pave the wave for new ideas, new groups to step in and step up. The message has always been “free the people, let democracy take its course”. Maybe it was the right thing to do. Psychopaths have ideas as well, and their ideas should count too.

Government, no matter how oppressive and seemingly dysfunctional, still provides basic services: healthcare, education, electricity, roads. And if you thought it wasn’t doing any of that stuff well, you’d certainly still miss them when rebels take over and shit happens.

Keeping Your Soul After the Places and the People

•August 7, 2014 • 2 Comments

I never fit in anywhere. It’s partly my personality. I think of people as an object of observation and study, not as friends. It’s also partly because I had cross-cultural experiences as a young child. I spoke 3 languages fluently by age 12 and even though I lived in one country for a long time, I read foreign books, watched foreign movies…etc. 

In college, I literally did not connect with one single soul. No one. Through all the coursework, karimba ensembles, volunteer events, frisbee games, drinking socials…There was no single person that stuck around. 99% never knew where I was from, or how to say my name.

Then I met him barely out of college. I married him. He didn’t care about fitting in anywhere, loved to be around people and to be object of study and admiration. I guess I can now see where we once overlapped.

5 countries together and 2 more languages later, I am desperate to be from somewhere and keep my soul from fleeing. I need a shorter life story that says the most important things about me. I need a professional title that says what I do without me having to spill out my long life details.  I had to fight hard to be a mom, which transcends time and place. But now even that seems to be of less important to me than my longing for a genuine identity.

I don’t think marriage is the emotional place I want to be in. I don’t think a new country is the physical place for me to strive in. I think the next place I want to be is a mental state of calm, confidence, and success. The friend I need is me. I don’t need anybody else to support me or help me through.  




Every Single Social Network

•August 6, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Apparently, “Instagram can be a window to places and things you don’t normally get to see.”

I am almost a decade late for Instagram and still refusing despite friends who locked out of facebook and moved there.

For one thing, I have more accounts on the internet than I know, which I call my “long, dirty cyber trail”. I can’t even access MySpace anymore because the email account associated with it is long gone.

Secondly, we’re all oversharing. There just can’t be that much to show…but I’d rather see it in museum.

Third, will I lose out on job opportunities if I didn’t know how to work Instagram? Probably not.

Any other pros/cons?

What if Autism Were the Final Frontier

•August 5, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Just a few days ago, there was this article in the NY Times.

I don’t want to get into whether or why Autism rates are increasing or how it’s designation is merely a matter of subjective diagnosis. In all honesty, and sincerely, I take autism seriously. But, what if…

What if, we as humans are on this evolutionary train where we are kind of chugging towards quantitative quirk and higher skill set to survive; communicating only via internet/texting/chatting but not ever actually needing to speak to each other…hence losing our 3 million-year capacity for oral communication. And bada-boom, we end up as hairless man-robots like Data on StarTrek?

What if autism is an evolutionary final frontier?
This is a tongue-in-cheek philosophical question, projected a million years ahead. Sorry to anyone whose life is affected by autism and please take no offense.